I was reading my writings from about a year ago when I was writing my BA dissertation. I really wasn’t feeling it back then it seems. It’s comforting to know that today I am in a much happier place academically and I have my fingers crossed for other good things in life. It’s a bit scary and uncertain at this point, however there are things to look forward to. Life to look forward to.
I just returned from a 10-day trip from Estonia and Finland. It was a break much needed, even though it wasn’t much of a break – still had to worry about one last assignment and take care of some mundane business. However, I got to spend time with my lovely Juulia in Finland – she just recharges me, truly one of the people who makes things worthwhile. I also managed to see some of my dearest ones in Estonia. Linn celebrated her birthday, it was full of love, made me very happy. All in all, the people around me are amazing. That is all.
My life also decided to take an unexpected turn in the form of a job offer, which I had completely forgotten and filed away as “as if they’re going to get back to me”. In about 24h I got to rethink everything I had planned, or more precisely not planned yet and I must say it was refreshing. The deal is not sealed yet, I am waiting for a response on how good my ideas for the job are. If they’re not good enough, well.. that would suck. Hopefully. I really want this. Funny thing is I didn’t even know I wanted this – I never allowed myself to dream as big. But now that there’s a slight chance I can do more with my life than I ever dared to hope, I… well. You get the point. It’s a chance of a lifetime and now the weight of my ideas, my vision, is the deciding point. I wish I believed in God – I would pray. But for now I’m going to cross my fingers and just hope.
I’ve always struggled a bit with finding proof that what I’ve been doing this far in life is actually going to pay off in the end. That’s what staying in education for too long does to you. I’ve got 66 days left until my thesis deadline and hopefully I can start a life then. A life with a different motivation and drive, a perspective and stability.
As I’m left with just one more thing to write – my thesis, and I need excuses to procrastinate, I’m pretty sure I’ll be posting more here. That’s how I roll.
Can’t wait to breathe out soon.